The wife and I are within hours of our next move. Time for another round of goodbyes.
I have moved several times in my life. I departed my home area at the age of 25, and I have had a number of new homes since. The moves never really bothered me, and when I talk about bother, I am referring to emotionally. It was just another move, another set of see ya laters, another walking away from the old and heading to something new. This time, at the age of 61, it is different.
Over the last month or so, a good number of our friends have been reaching out wanting to have that last coffee, that last drink, that last get-together. Unfortunately (or maybe showing how fortunate we are), we were unable to do that with everyone. Some goodbyes this time will be a text from the plane, an email from the new home, or, if the time is right, a phone call to be able to hear their voice as we say goodbye.
All the requests and meet ups are not what is different this time. I have always been blessed with a lot of good friends and colleagues. I still take many of their parting gifts with me as we move about this globe. The missing the chance with some is also not new. No matter how hard you try, someone or a few someones will always be missed.
Here is the thing that is different for me this time.
I am older.
I would have said old, but a certain spouse would have hit me, so I will stick with older.
As a 25-year-old leaving for the military, the goodbyes were not a big deal. I may not have even used the word goodbye. It was most likely, “see you later” or “see ya next time.”
Not goodbye.
For goodbye has a sense of permanency. I was young, most of the people I knew were young. We were all going to live forever.
Now at this age, I know that forever is never promised.
I have learned in almost 40 years of travel that life happens. Sometimes, whether you said the word or not, goodbye is what it turned out to be. Then a silent prayer for someone you thought you would see again.
As my wife and I hugged so many of our friends, we made promises that we would be back out to visit the kid. We invited them to come visit with us. They made promises to us.
Some of those promises will be kept—many will not.
Perhaps it is because of my age and the age of those I was saying farewell to that I gave a little extra-long hug to each person. I heard the promises in my head, but I knew that life had its own plans.
I still tried hard not to say it. Instead, I used the words, I love you more than I have in the past.
I do not write the above to depress people or make them remember those friends no longer with them (but if you do, I hope it is with a smile).
I think, in a way, I am writing to my 25-year-old self. I am writing to young people who are breaking away to start a new part of their lives.
I am writing to the friends who will be left behind.
When the time comes to say goodbye, use whatever words you want.
Ciao. Hasta la vista. Ta-ta.
Or maybe no words—just a wink and a smile.
But regardless of the way you say it, make sure it is done with a huge hug, an embrace that will last for years, and the words:
I love you.